Blogging At Random

Missing my friend

  I had a dear friend named Phyllis who died last year.  She still lives in my heart and in my thoughts. I miss her every day and think of her in a thousand different ways.  I have wonderful memories of her.  

  Phyllis was a steadfast anchor of good sense, kindness, and love to many people.  She kept her own family together during hard times and every family has them.  Phyllis listened to the myriad things that bothered me, listened patiently and kindly, without judgement.  She was what I needed at many times over the years.  

   My life has not been the same without her.  She encouraged me to write a book; I used to think she encouraged me so that she wouldn't have to listen all of my lengthy stories.  About a week before she died I had pushed the "publish" button for my novel, Another Day, Otro Día.  I wanted to call Phyllis and tell her but I knew she would be dedicated to her garden at that early part of June.  Having a garden, tending to it, harvesting vegetables had been her retirement dream.  Everyone who loved her was so glad she was living her dream.  

   I will always regret that I didn't make that phone call to tell her about my book.  She would have made me feel especially proud of it, proud of myself.  I didn't call her and then so unexpectedly, I got a call from a mutual friend, a former student to both of us.  Phyllis had died that morning, presumably from another blood clot in her lungs.  

   Her family accepted my offer to eulogize Phyllis at the funeral.  Saying good things about her was easy.  Trying to find the best good things to say was difficult.  What particularly could I say that would exemplify all she had done and meant to so many people?  Like writing always does, it events itself along the way.  

   Phyllis was an avid, practicing Catholic.  Her religion meant a great deal to her and had buoyed her along through difficult stages of her life.  Luckily I found a way to express that she would have no trouble getting into heaven.  The image of the "frequent flyer" with status at the airlines going past peons like me came to my mind.  It worked to show that Phyllis would have been in the fast lane going into heaven; no need to be questioned or show anything about what she brought with her. Phyllis would have carried very little baggage. 

   I think of her often tending a garden, showing others how to cook and can, listening and helping others.  I guess God needed some help up there, but I miss her here.  Many people do.  

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